I stepped out and dove in

I dove deep and felt free

I felt satisfied and justified

I knew I was doing the right thing

My past began to lose its color

A world where grey was the only color

The future I could reach slightly less opaque

Yet the path there remained stubbornly vague

As my purse faithfully loses weight

I lay in bed and contemplate

Is the tradeoff worth the risk

Is the risk risky enough

How far is far enough

Does going back mean taking steps back

Does staying mean going forward

Can a diving bell learn to fly

Should I trust this evolving heart

Exploring the deep without an oxygen tank

Will I grow gills to breathe before it runs out